life

i never really took school seriously and was always a slacker and procrastinator. i just wanted to live life and have fun. i always wanted to hang out with my friends, but now, at the age of twenty, i realized that school plays a huge role when it comes to my future. school is what determines my job, my wellfare, and how well my future will be. looking back at my past, i really regret slacking in highschool. maybe, if i wouldve done better in school, i wouldnt be stuck at uw sheboygan. not that its a bad school, its just that i wouldve been able to go straight to the college of my dreams. uw madison. im hoping to transfer to madison in the spring, but things might not go as planned because of how poorly ive been doing. not that i want to brag, but, i know that im not a dumb person and i can do very well in school if i tried. thats just the thing, i dont. thats one of the biggest mistakes ive made and im wanting to change that now. i want to do good in school and i want to have a good future. if i cant do something as simple as keeping my grades up and reading or doing homework, how do i plan to survive in the real world when it comes to a job? i might not be ready for the world and i might tell the world to wait until im ready, but its not going to. the world is constant, it keeps moving even when we dont. nothing good comes from slacking. ive learned the hard way. if i could go back and study harder from highschool until now, you bet i would change that. yes, having fun is important, but theres a time to have fun, and a time to be serious. my fun time is over and now its time to start planning my life and its time to worry about my future. i realized that id rather work hard now and relax later than relaxing now and working my butt off in the future. i know that if i wouldve studied harder in highschool, i would be further than i am today with school. that is one regret that i will always carry with me... now i understand why my parents always pushed me so much in highschool. they just wanted the best for me. theyve done all that they can and now its my turn to take care of my own life. no more slacking around. its time to get down to business. life is nothing to mess around with. it is what you make it.

Memories and Emotions

memories play such an important role when it comes to being with someone. i feel as if memories are what hold two people together and its what keeps the relationship going. but, once you forget, memories mean nothing...  sometimes it saddens me how easily someone can forget the memories that were created and shared with someone special. how can people forget the feelings of the time spent and shared with eachother? its sad to think that when two people end things, its easier for one person to move on than the other... they say that the bad memories are what hurts, but i feel as if its the good memories that kills someone even more. i feel like sometimes the reason its so hard to let go of someone is because of all the memories youve created with that person. you realize everything youve gone through together and  you want to hold on to that person because youre still holding on to those memories. its hard to accept the truth and face the facts that things are over because youre always so busy thinking of what could have been. i dont want to get personal, but, i recently got out of a relationship and some days are definitely better than others. i wish that there was a way i could block out all of the memories and just move on but, its not that easy. sure, people can tell you to move on and they can tell you that you deserve better and that person was an idiot, but, its harder for you because youre the one thats going through it and they didnt go through what you went through with that person. sometimes i wish there was a way where you can just control your emotions. im sure im not the only one that has felt this way... if there was a way to control how we felt maybe everyone would be happier? or is that just me? i know that going through these tough times makes you stronger but why cant these times go by faster hahaha. i dont know about you guys but its hard for me to look at that person and pretend as if nothings ever happened and we can just be friends. its hard for me not to think about all of the memories of us together and its hard for me to control my emotions. i read this quote that said, you can close your eyes to things you dont want to see, but, you cant close your heart to things you dont want to feel... i found this quote to me so true. memories can be used to hurt someone but memories are also a wonderful thing to have. so, ive come to the conclusion that instead of sulking in the memories, ill rejoice in them. like i said before, nothing good comes out from being sad right? youve got to be fair to yourself and love yourself. so, go out there and make memories... you only live once after all